Liars, we all know someone who finds it necessary to lie. Whether it be about the most mundane issue or when it’s something as important as testifying for the grand jury, some people feel the need to lie. The question I would like to raise is why. Lying is, more often than not, pointless, or so many whom are lied to would like to believe. Some doctors believe people lie because of various forms of chemical imbalances. I believe lying serves one overall purpose and it is to protect.

Natural human instinct tells us to survive, to protect ourselves at nearly all costs. Ultimately a person who lies feels in some way threatened. The subject being discussed can be of the most mundane in nature, but if someone feels threatened in any way, shape, or form, they are going to lie in response so that they feel as if they are maintaining a certain amount of control. Think about it. Your boss asks you what your plans are for the weekend and you know he’s only asking because he wants someone to run errands for him. Suddenly your weekend flashes before your eyes and you feel it slipping away and you realize that your two days of relaxation are at risk, what do you do? You paint the most pitiful expression on your face and say you’re visiting your sick grandmother. You felt that the weekend you waited so long for was at risk, so you lied to save it.

Some people tell small lies to protect what helps them survive in our competitive world, such as their long awaited weekend of relaxation, while others lie to protect a piece of themselves. A persons past can impact them in tremendous life-altering ways. It can leave a person bitter and insecure thus giving them all the more reason to lie when confronted by an issue they feel threatened by. If asked how one feels on a particular day, they may be feeling angry, frustrated, or depressed, yet they’ll say “fine” and be on their merry way. It’s so that they don’t have to face the parts of their past that made them feel that way, If faced, the past may tear them apart and take whatever composure they feel they are maintaining, and that’s what scares them the most.

Survival, it’s what lying is all about. It can be a child lying about putting those crayon marks on the wall because the know that if the truth is discovered, there will be consequences. The same goes for adults. We try to protect what we have at all costs and if lying serves our purpose then we are merely doing what we were designed to do…protect ourselves.

Is there such a thing as a real secret?  Secrets, those private matters that are hush hush and sometimes only known by one or two people are what has often rocked the world when revealed.  I remember distinctly being in a class a long time ago.  The professor was telling us about a group of people who met to discuss their unsolved crimes.  The purpose of the clandestine meeting was to tell how each person was able to pull off the “perfect crime”,  which had baffled the police and authorities to the extent that they remained  enigmas for years.  The people who committed these crimes were now bold enough to meet to disclose their clever schemes.  It was understood and agreed upon  that no one was to go outside of the circle and tell anyone, not even their spouses. 

Well, of course, because the schemes were too good to be kept confidential, each person was eventually arrested for the unsolved crime he/she had committed.  The pact to not discuss the schemes outside of the circle was slowly broken .  Some of them shared with their spouses what they had heard,  and their spouses rehearsed the gross scenarios with others, and they shared it with still others, until the widened exposure resulted in everyone’s arrest. 

  Why do people keep secrets?  There are several reasons for keeping secrets:  : 

a. embarrassment
b. punishment for  criminal behavior
c. shame and disgrace
d. indecency
e. family incrimination  or blots on one’s good reputation 
f. fear or reprisal
g. fear of rejection or hatred
h. personal or sensitive information leaks
i. compromising confidential or sealed information
j. the possibility that such information that can be used against you or another person        
k. threats if information is disclosed  

These are just some of the reasons people work hard to keep something secret.  Even small children keep secrets from their parents for any of the above mentioned reasons.  As a person grows and matures, they find ways to keep their secrets locked behind the vaults of their minds.  We call this putting things on the back burner.  But are they ever on the back burner?  I maintain that some secrets serve to function as plagues to our lives and progress.

Are there good secrets?  Yes, there are good secrets.  People who are philanthropists often request that their gifts and donations be given anonymously.  I call these good secrets.  Even Christmas presents are sometimes given anonymously by agencies who want to share in the Christmas spirit.  These good secrets hold the mystique for human curiosity, and wonderment.  Who doesn’t like to guess about the giver of  such gifts? 

Are there bad secrets?  Of course, many.  They exist like rushing water behind a dam.  If ever the dam is broken, the secrets flow out to cause embarrassment, collateral damage, and confusion.  Have you ever heard of people who decided to turn over a new leaf in their lives.  They, perhaps moved to a new location, changed their name, and made good their promise to themselves to reform their lives.  Even so, the secrets of the pass often come to haunt them.  They really can never live a normal life without the fear that someone from their pass may discover them.  This has happened, and again, a good life was exposed, and sometimes disabled.  On the other hand, others have been uncovered only to find that their new life has been so prolific, that it made little difference. 

When people wish they were a nail or fly on the wall, they are expressing the idea of listening in on conversations to which others are not privy.  They would be able to listen to many secret things.  Today, with technology, many people get their wish to hear those private conversations, or hear one  even talking to himself/herself.  That’s how advanced we have gotten, however, we still have not been able to discover every hidden or secret thing.   I use to worry about not knowing a lot of secrets.  However, the Bible gave me the assurance I needed.  “There is nothing covered, that shall not be revealed; neither nid, that shall not be known.”  Luke 12:2.  And then in Ecclesiastes 12:2 is the revelation that “God shall bring every work into judgment, with every secret thing, whether it be good, or whether it be evil.”  Right before my eyes I could see that God knows everything– and that includes all secrets.  So, actually we are getting away with nothing even though we may not be rewarded or punished by our peers presently. God is our judge, and all of our deeds will be brought before him.  We are therefore, accountable to Him.  It makes complete sense then to have secrets, but it makes better sense to realize that there will a time of reckoning. 

Secrets, then, are not really secrets.  They are deeds and words that are simply buried for a time.   They are all exposed to God, though sometimes hidden from mankind.  Just as the criminals mentioned earlier felt confident that they had gotten away with their misdeeds, hidden secrets can lead us to deceive ourselves.  I don’t suppose anyone would like all of their secrets brought out of their boxes and placed on the table.  The greatest consolation I find when I think about secrets is that God alone will keep our secrets secure.  If our secrets have brought reproach and shame, we may tell Him alone, and He will restore and revive us.  And like happy parents who want to say, “Surprise!” to their children on their birthday, God will give us the happy surprise of forgiving all of our secret mistakes, and He will give us His love and guidance to transcend those mistakes of the past in order to live a life of dignity, hope and inspiration.    If you are talking about secrets– that my friends, is no secret!  

Every day more and more people are being diagnosed as depressed.  Some worse than others, but the feelings are the same: as if we are inadequate, worthlessness, and as if we cannot do anything right along with so many different feelings.  More often than not, the depressive feelings can be more than we can bear, and as if we couldn’t continue living life the same way.  Depression can be one of the hardest things to deal with if we don’t have some sort of faith not simply a Christian faith (though much of this will be using Christian ideals).  Faith can help us make it through the darkest of nights, and we all know night is when the depression is at it’s worst.  Depression can come whenever we least expect it.  We could be at our highest point in life or feel like we couldn’t be happier and then boom depression hits like a juggernaut through a brick wall.

Many different people throughout the Bible dealt with depression, one of the most known examples is the story of Job.  He was stricken with illness, his family was killed and he lost all his money.  He was bound to become depressed, but one of the best things he did was he still praised God’s power and glory while he was asking God why.  You see it is okay for us to ask God why something happens to us, but we also need to keep praising His name and honoring Him.  We can get mad at Him at times, but we are only human.  even though Job was depressed and upset, he still remained blameless and didn’t blame God for his torments.  He dealt with his depression the best way he knew how and one of the ways he did was through his faith and trust in God.  Job tried to be strong, but had the hardest time to remain strong because he felt as if God was punishing him and so often we can feel that same way and depression begins to rear its ugly head.

Psalm 42: 5 and 6 tells us Why am I discouraged? Why so sad? I will put my hope in God!  I will praise him again - my savior and my God now I am deeply discouraged, but I will remember your kindness.  Even when we are faced with depression we need to focus on God and praise his name.  If we don’t the depression will overtake us and Satan will win the battle.  God is our source of happiness and peace.  We should place all hope and trust in His unfailing love when we feel like nothingness.  We need to remember God loves us and no matter how we are feeling H is there to hold us and comfort us.  David wrote that he will put his hope in God even when H felt discouraged and sad.  He stated that he was discouraged yet he would remember God’s kindness and praise him over and over again.  We can wonder why we are discouraged when things seem to be going well in our lives, we can ask why we are dealing with a certain hardship, but one of the main things we need to keep doing just as Job and David did was to continue to praise God.  If we do that, soon the depression will turn away and become happiness.

“Come quickly Lord, and answer me for my depression deepens don’t turn away from me for I will die”  Psalm 143: 7 calls out to God for help as depression deepens.  There will be times throughout the valley of depression when things seem like all that happens is that it gets worse and harder to see happiness through the pain.  When we feel the depression deepening we need to call out, nay cry out to God and cry for His presence and assistance through it all.  We need to be at Hs feet almost as if we are begging Him for His help and that He won’t turn away, even though Hebrews 13:5 tells us that God will never leave us nor forsake us.  We need God at all times of course, but while going through this trial, we really need to depend on Him and rely on His strength to be our strength.  How can we make it through things without relying on God for help and guidance?

God gave us different emotions and ways to express them, depression is just one of those emotions that he gave us that we need.  But we need to know how to deal with them, and one of the best ways to deal with depression, anger, and bitterness is to pray to Him about anything we need to.  Depression is one of the emotions God gave us to help us deal with certain things in our lives, and the thing is sometimes Satan tries to use our God given emotions to tear us away from God, that is why it is so important that we focus our attention to God.  We can do that by reading the Bible, praying, and spending time in fellowship with others.  One thing that we need to remember is that depression may come and go, but God’s love never ever fails or leaves us.  The emotions that we have works differently in different people, some are easily excited, others get angry easily, and for many depression can occur whenever however.  Just one simple work spoken by someone else could spark the light of depression that can cause us so much harm.

You don’t see depression coming up on you because you are so focused on the thing you need to do to meet the needs of the treatments.  It’s like a thief in the night, it slips in unnoticed, and it takes everything in you to battle it.  Depression can easily lead to doubt; doubt in God and doubt in yourself.  During the day we try everything we can to occupy our thoughts so we wouldn’t think of the depressive things, but it’s when the nights come that make things more difficult. Once we turn out those lights that thoughts begin.  Our minds run wild with “what if I don’t get better?” or “what if it comes back: and many other “what if. . .” questions that could be very damaging.  The what if’s thoughts lead to fears about what would happen next.  Because of the fear, doubt, anger depression and discouragement finds it way in and makes itself comfortable within our minds.  I will admit there were moments in my depressive hours that I felt like God wasn’t there hearing my prayers.  But He is; no matter what God is there hearing our prayers and holding us up as the poem “Footprints In The Sand” says.  There will be days when it seems like we cannot go on or don’t have the strength to get up.  It’s those days that we need to lean on God and ask him for strength to carry on.

Depression is something that we can work through.  We can make it through depression, but one thing that we NEED through the fight with it is our faith in God.  We cannot let depression take that away.  When we are feeling worthless we need to call on God and ask Him to show us how worthy we are of his love or rather how important we are to Him.  Now remember that could come in many different ways and sometimes in the smallest of ways.  When we pray for God’s help and guidance we need to keep our eyes and ears open for His voice and His signs.  If we don’t we could miss them.  Depression is hard enough to deal with, it gets harder when we lose faith in Christ.

A few years ago, it was fashionable to decorate a room entirely in white. If you´re surrounded by a profusion of white too long, it can cause anxiety and frustration. In light therapy, white is used only for one reason - to cure depression and to raise the serotonin in the brain. The traditionally white in the hospital environment would do well to be broke off with other colors.

Lavender blue would be good for resuscitation. Peach and pink is stimulating when it´s time to get the patient on their feet.

To heal with colors

Illness seen as an enemy. But it´s also possible to see it as your friend. Because the colors says the true about you. Healthy, fresh food is full of color-energy. Food in different colors can be absorbed by the body to heal and to stimulate your health.

Red, orange and yellow food is always hot and stimulating.

Red provides extra energy, and helps with lethargy and fatigue.

Orange creates optimism and change, heal sorrow and disappointment.

Yellow encourages laughter and joy, and is a hep for depression.

Green food can be used to balance the body, and is the strengthening of the system. Green increase physical endurance, and is a help for panic, fear and anxiety.

Blue, indigo and purple food is soothing and refreshing.

Blue gives peace and relaxation, increase the concentration and relieve anxiety.

Indigo gives live structure, helps in uncertainty.

Purple gives leadership, heals and soothes at the emotional aimlessness.

We all have been through an experience we would rather forget. Something that, whether or not it could have been prevented, changed our lives forever.

Death of a loved one, loss of income, a friendship ending, victim of an automobile accident. Scars are left which can be so deep it seems we will never get over them. And in a sense, we do not. But we can get past these experiences and go on with our lives. It is not easy, but it is possible.

Where to start, after the dust has settled so to speak, is the first point to consider. No matter if the event has been a death or a job or house loss, or accident, the stages of grief still apply. Each of us react to grief differently and the stages, though sequenced for explanation, can happen in any order. Some we get through quickly, others we tend to stay in for awhile. We can experience more than one stage at a time.

As an event unfolds we find ourselves in denial. This is not real. This is not happening. We are dreaming, part of a nightmare. As reality sets in, anger comes with it and as we get angrier we begin to bargain, making deal after deal to stop what is happening and go back to our normal life. When it becomes clear that the situation is real and there is no way on earth it will change, depression can set in. It is during this stage that we must begin to face reality, analyze our options and pull ourselves back into life again. Once we have accepted the situation as it is, then we can begin to heal and live normally again.

There are several ways to accept events. And this applies to pleasant surprises as well. Though a loss is grievous, winning a substantial amount in a lottery is not. And all of it needs to be absorbed, accepted, and dealt with as a new reality in our lives.

However, the more sad or traumatic an event is the less help, it seems, we have available. Counseling is an option, but this does not necessarily mean with a counselor. Though excellent resources are available from no charge to pricey, there are equally effective ways to counsel ourselves.

Talk about what happened. We all have people around us who ask “is there anything I can do?” and if they are sincere, they will listen. Find those who will and tell your story. In my case I had been involved in a rollover accident. We both survived, even though I had come part way out of the passenger side window. The people helping at the scene were great, staying until the emergency personnel arrived. The gentleman that helped me most had pulled my left arm from under my shoulder because numbness was setting in and I was afraid of permanent damage. He told me that if there was any pain he would stop, but there was not. However, this is when I discovered that the tip of my pinkie finger had been sliced and was probably not going to be saved.

When I got back home, scar on my face, left hand wrapped from surgery, everyone I met up with wanted to know “what on earth happened?” and over and over I told my story. Sometimes I was near tears, other times I was very uncomfortable, sometimes it terrified me to think what could have happened but I kept on talking.

And I realized awhile later that, as traumatic as this accident was, I was accepting what had happened, thankful that it had not been worse, and actually was able to accept it much more quickly than I ever thought.

Writing about an experience can be very helpful. It doesn’t matter if you cannot put two words together to make a coherent sentence. No one else has to read this. It is for you. If you choose to share it do not worry about the writing. At best it will be accepted as told. At worst, maybe you can find someone to ghostwrite! Just get the words down, revise, relive the experience, and get it out.

The key to surviving a traumatic experience is getting the terror of it out. For a few nights after the accident I kept - not necessarily dreaming, but reliving - the car rolling over, the spin as we turned and the thud as it stopped. I remember my stepmother’s ‘oh Lord no!’ just as she wavered over to the right edge of the highway, and how I thought should I or shouldn’t I grab the wheel and steer us back into the lane. But I did not know if there was other traffic or how much, as I was just awakening at her cry out. I thought we were ok, but just as she seemed to be back on the road, the tires hit the gravel on the side, the steering wheel spun and over we went.

I doubt I will ever be able to ride a Tilt-A-Whirl again, my favorite carnival ride. But, fifteen years later, that seems to be the worst of what happened that morning.

Talk about the experience, write about the experience, visit the site if you can - though I would not necessarily recommend this be done alone. That, too, depends on you.

But stay strong. Do not let it consume you with grief or worse yet self pity.

I had a moment of pity a couple of weeks later. I had been through two surgeries and had lost the tip of my pinkie. The worst thing, I teased, was that I had nowhere to hang my key chain now when I was juggling grocery bags. The scars were healing, the bruising was fading and I decided to go for coffee. In front of the restaurant, I sat in the car crying that “I wanted my finger back!” and feeling quite sorry for myself. And that was ok. I had been through something terrible. And if I wanted to pity myself I could. And I did.

And then comes along a man who I know was put there to set me straight. I could see him approach out of the corner of my eye, through my tears, at a rapid pace. And when I looked at him I was stunned to see he was on crutches - because he had one leg cut off at the knee.

That did it. How dare I feel sorry for myself when this man lost so much more?

Maybe, then, this is another thing that can help. Think about those who are worse off. Maybe help out at a hospital or nursing care center. No matter what you do, DO something! Do not no matter what has happened, let grief or trauma consume you.

It does not have to. You just need to know that inside you are strong enough to fight back and bring yourself fully back to life.

There are many ways a person comes upon a decision. They may lean more towards what is most familiar to them and their needs, or they may go against the grain, or they may take the time to weigh each and every possible choice.  When it comes to politics we find it is no different than choosing to switch banks or credit card companies.  After all, once again we find ourselves in a position of deciding who will be the best person in charge to help our wallets and our lives in general.  But with some insight to how our minds work we can filter out the most logical decision so that no matter what happens we can say we did our best.

1. Research-based Decisions.

Our lives are busy and it is difficult to get everything done in 24 hours, but if we feel we need to exercise our civic duty than we should make an effort to research facts on each candidate.  After all, when we make other decisions that affect our lives we want to know the best possible outcome by facts.  We need to believe what we ourselves have seen, heard and read.

2.  Active Decisions.

The internet is a lovely little tool that puts public records and publications at our fingertips.  Through reputable sources you can access this information to figure out who you will back as a candidate.  This information is helpful when you compare their political past with the claims and promises being made on the campaign trail revealing the candidate’s character and future impact they will have upon your life.  It may be inconsistent with what is being promoted, which should be a red flag that something is not right about this candidate.

3. Objective or Subjective Decisions

Most people know the difference between an objective mind and a subjective mind.  An objective mind allows for facts to surface without prejudging how you feel about them, whereas a subjective mind only sees what is familiar to them opening the door wide open for biases and prejudgments.   Only an objective mind who sees the whole picture based upon facts, not feelings, can be able to justifiably state their cases of who they voted for and why they voted for them.

4.  Conditioned Decisions.

You cannot help but to see ads all the time and subliminal advertising has been around for many, many years.   The power of suggestion is an enticing element used in advertising no matter the actual product involved.   As you watch the ads and if something stands out do a little research. Do not buy into half-truths that each side portrays, because once we find the actual footage or article we find it has been taken out of context or paraphrased.  This is another red flag to indicate if a candidate is credible or not and you may not want to find yourself in the position of asking, “What was I thinking?”

5. Realistic Decisions.

Reality is subjective at times which means we need to take in different views all at once.  This can lead to  confusion if you do not know how to filter facts from fiction.  It is in your best interest regardless of which side you are on to listen to all the possibilities.  And make your decision based on these facts that are important to you instead of automatically picking a candidate based upon political affiliation.

6.  Empathetic and Apathetic Decisions.

An empathetic person takes into consideration how something will affect others as a whole instead of their own welfare.  An apathetic person lacks concern of anything, including their own future.  Now there are various reasons why people turn out this way, but in terms of political decisions it may be because they feel they have lost their voice.  But when a person decides to get involved and seriously find out the facts they realize that they are the voice and every vote counts.

7. Moral Decisions.

This is a touchy subject because we all have a different definition of ethics when we open discussion with others.  Ethics is defined in Webster’s dictionary as a set of moral principles in terms of obligation and duty.  But if we have never actually delved into our minds and hearts to define our own code of ethics it may be hard to explain just what is ethical to ourselves.  There are many self-help books available to this personal discovery that will ultimately lead you to a much more sound person who can apply this to any decision you face in life.  One author in particular that is very helpful in this area is Cheryl Richardson.  She has many books on how to grow intellectually and emotionally through exercises and journaling.

Basically it does not matter what the topic is at hand when it comes to making a decision, but it is our responisbility as the decision maker to put the best foot forward.  After all if we sit still and think it will not affect our lives we should not complain when it does eventually affect our lives.  And education is always the best key to growing as a person.  Or you can think about it this way when we hear people speaking in real life we usually try to find out if it is real or not.  So why is a political election decision any different?

The US and many other countries pride themselves on being a pluralistic, multi-cultural, and tolerant society. Loosely defined, tolerance is the acceptance of a person’s individual beliefs and practices and includes such civil rights as freedom of speech. Now while it seems evident why a society based on these principles is necessary and good, there are negative consequences of such acceptance, one of which the danger of succumbing to the lowest common denominator.

All ideas and values are not equal in merit and so underlying this issue of tolerance is intelligence and morality. And although multiculturalism is being integrated into schools and universities and the literature of varying cultures are being studied, other programs, such as “The No Child Left Behind Act” have done much in the opposite by teaching to a uniform standardized test, which is the antithesis of tolerance. A well rounded education taught without judgment is a necessary foundation if we are going if tolerance is to be successful but currently we are not uniform in our educational practices.

Also in the realm of art and aesthetics, no standard for taste can be reached if all expression is allowed. And while in theory we’d like to believe that one work, a painting for instance, is as good as another, in reality this just isn’t the case. We all recognize vulgar when we see it. A truly gifted artist is also evident. And yet in a tolerant society both pieces could be hanging side by side as equals. The problem with tolerance is that it caters to individual truth, not recognizing that there is truth beyond the individual, a universal truth that we should be working to understand.

Or take an issue such as obesity which is running rampant in many countries, particularly the US. Yet clothes are being designed to encompass this expanding girth, fast food restaurants are still on the rise, and pills are being created to help individuals lose weight without diet and exercise. Corporations make a great deal of money catering to the individual; there’s guaranteed to be a pill for whatever problem you think you might have. This sort of message goes beyond tolerance but actually encourages negative behaviors and quick fixes–you shouldn’t work to improve yourself, we can fix it for you!

Tolerance without proper education or without a moral backing cannot have direction; it will lead us not up, but simply around in circles. Perhaps it is better, sometimes, to respond negatively to negative behavior in hopes of advancing rather than tolerating.

In recent conversations with friends and family, I’ve noticed a similar trend in the late twenty-somethings out there, something I never expected to encounter. A sort of anxiety has crept in, a sense of displacement and a lack of direction.

In my case, I had it all figured out early on, married, good job and home, the next step was children. But as I approached my graduate graduation, age 25, I felt the need to tear it all down and start again. It seemed that this life I had planned out was no longer good enough and I wanted to start again. I felt as though I needed to be free and independent and there was more to life than I was living–if I didn’t act quickly, I’d lose my chance.

There could be perhaps psychological reasons relating to me personally, but as I talked to a close friend, she described similar feelings and that her friends felt the same. There was this strong conflict between wanting freedom and independence, but a lack of knowledge on how or where to achieve it. After all, the world is still full of possibility at this age and options seem limitless.

So what role does age play in anxiety? Marcos Salazar is one author who has written on the effects of anxiety as graduates try and find a place in a world outside of college. It seems only natural to have these feelings as it’s a time of great change. From what I’ve read on the web, the number of panic attacks and anxiety disorders seems to be increasing in this age group as well.

But I think it’s too glib to say that this “quarter-life crisis” is simply the result of dealing with post-graduation stresses. I like Gunter Figal’s argument that “anxiety makes one experience one’s potential for being.” In fact, I might argue that it’s “one’s potential for being” that creates the anxiety. I constantly wonder how I might reach my full potential, whatever that may be, and I long for an environment that will nourish me cognitively and spiritually. Trying to find this practically sometimes feels overwhelming and thus I resist the urge to shut down completely. The result has been a series of impulsive, if not reckless, decisions and a persistent feeling of restlessness.

I find comfort in the fact that I’m not alone in this phenomenon and that it seems quite normal for someone in my age group. However, this does little to fix the issue. I just try my best to put a positive spin and greet this time as a chance to experience many new things and to enjoy this period of uncertainty as much as possible.

Let’s face it! Depression is something that everyone faces in this life. The source of depression will vary according to circumstances and situations. The severity of depression depends on the individual. In recent years, the number of commercials and infomercials for treatment and management of depression have increased. While watching these promotions, it is easy to identify with the symptoms of depression. From this alone, many believe they are depressed or they are on the path to depression. So, to aid others in their quest for self-discovery in this matter, here are 5 sure signs that an individual is a candidate for depression.

Family History – Our family history provides vital information to potential health concerns, both mental and physical. A simply family inquest; that is, dig into your family’s deep, dark secrets which could prove to be beneficial. The information gained will strengthen or dissolve any concerns for your mental health.

Emotional Instability – Life brings events that stir up numerous emotional states of being. Emotions are a part of the human experience and should not be feared because of their intensity. Some believe that because they have strong emotions, including those of sadness that they are depressed. When in actuality, they are simply a personal who feels more than others. However, if you find yourself in constant states of emotional up and downs, it may be a sign of unidentified depression.

New Vices – In today’s society, those who drink, smoke, and indulge in many excesses is commonplace. However, if you find yourself indulging in things that you have never done before, it may be coping mechanism for underlying depression. Some who are on the path to depression begin to use drugs, drink excessively, and even become obsessed with sexual activity as methods of escape. If this is your experience, it may be time to seek some assistance.

Phobia-Free Lifestyle – Depression is a prison. Some who are victim to it began to respond to feelings of bondage by developing a dangerous, carefree lifestyle. Thrill seeking becomes an avenue of escape from depression’s grip (whether for the moment or for life when death may be a consequence). It is a sign of personal growth when you can overcome certain fears and phobias. However, when depression is involved, these personal victories camouflage an inner defeat.

Loss of Interest – Becoming bored with the usual is not a sign of depression; neither is the desire for change. However, depression causes individuals to find no peace or joy with anything in life. Depression causes you to be bombarded by exaggerated feelings of disinterest, including thoughts of personal and assisted suicide (putting oneself in life threatening situations). This is one of the clearest signs of depression.

Depression is a complex issue with varying levels of severity and longevity. The above list is by no means exhaustive, but it helps in self-examination. If you feel you are depressed or are subject to its effects, there are many resources available in the community and on the World Wide Web. For more information on this subject, please visit www.depression.com.

Have you ever had a friend or relative that seemed to be sad or ‘just down-in-the-dumps’? Are you sure that it is not depression? Depression is a confusing thing. When diagnosed with severe clinical depression, I found how baffling it could be. Have you ever said to someone “just snap out of it” or had it said to you?

Well, let me give you some of my ideas on the subject.

That phrase ‘just snap out of it’ is very hurtful. When I was (just) sad, it made me feel like I did not have the right to be sad. When I slipped into depression, I did not know how to ‘snap out of it’ and it made me even more depressed. I did not know how, because I had become confused about everything in my life. I started isolating and, eventually, tried to commit suicide. My depression had begun when I felt like I had no purpose. My husband had died and I did not seek help with the grief process. Just like many people, my sister had no clue that I had slipped into deep depression. She thought that I was ‘down’ and would ‘snap out of it’. She found me and got me the help I needed. I have since begun to learn about building my self-esteem. I needed to take some medications to help clear my mind and give me the physical ability to function. When my thinking became clearer, I was able to learn new coping skills.

Through psychotherapy and self-help groups, I was able to learn behavior modification and start on a journey of recovery, both mental and spiritual.

You might be able to help someone you know before they slip into depression. Do not say ‘just snap out of it’. Give them support. Sympathize a little. Let them know that it is okay to feel sad or lonely. We all have a right to our feelings.

You CAN do something to help them feel better:

§ Do not be judgmental or use phrases such as ‘you should’ or ‘you could’.

§ Ask them to tell you, if they can, about how they are feeling.

§ Empathize, if you can. (Let them know you have similar feelings sometimes.)

§ Tell them it is going to be okay.

§ Just giving them a hug is enough, sometimes.

§ Take them out and do something they like to do.

If you are not getting through to them or they seem to be slipping into depression, please seek professional advice, before telling them to get professional help. I am just a person who has been battling this problem for many years and I do not have all the answers. I hope that my suggestions will help someone in need.